The Beautiful (and Not-So-Beautiful) Life: from Jurrasic Park to Kool-Aid

2009-09-26T08:30:00.037-04:00

Okay, so after a long time of not posting to this blog, I've decided to start over fresh - this is a blog about the life of a sometimes crazy, always sarcastic, and occasionally funny writer currently living in (though hoping to soon escape) the Midwest; just outside Chicago, in fact. I'm a writer, film buff, and former actor who somehow still manages to miss the insanity of Los Angeles. I collect autographs and enemies (not at the same time - I've never disrespected a celebrity - and the latter not intentionally, but not everyone can handle my being as outspoken as I am), have published everything from poetry to porn, have had jobs that included selling souvenirs at Jurassic Park and jewelry at the Grand Canyon to running the office of an X-rated film legend or playing a psychotic pedophile of a priest in a horror movie. It's been a bumpy ride along the way, but I've also been blessed to have had some experiences in my life that most people will never know, and has met quite an assortment of characters along the way. Oh yeah, and I'm gay - yet for the most part reject the shallowness and hypocrisy of the gay lifestyle as a whole; there's just something so annoying about a group of people running around screaming "Accept us for who we are, damnit!" ... only to turn on their own kind and rip them to shreds like velociraptors, just for being too fat, too old, too dark, too tall, etc.

This blog is my world, my opinions, and my life. The opinions expressed here are mine alone, and do not necessarily reflect those of management. Hopefully you will chuckle here. Maybe even get misty-eyed, occasionally. But I hope you may never, ever be bored.

Let's start with the first casualty of the new TV season - "The Beautiful Life: TBL," the CW's newest series that the CW, in turn, gave only two episodes to catch an audience before yanking it off the air. Co-produced by Ashton Kutcher (which should have been my first warning), the series was a bit vapid, yes, and I think they could have chosen (much as I like him) someone a bit more drop-dead HOT for the lead than Benjamin Hollingsworth - but damnit the promise of Corbin Bleu (who, behind my back, has turned into a HUNK) potentially getting as naked as commercial TV will allow was worth it ALONE, and I was also sort of getting into the romantic entanglements of the two main characters. BOO on the CW to give the show only two episodes - but I had a sinking suspicion this puppy wasn't going to last long.

As long as we're discussing TV, Jesus have you seen the premiere of ABC's "FlashForward" this week?! Good GOD, what a cool show! Excellent writing, brilliant premise, and a cast worthy of pulling it off! The cliffhanger that had your jaw hanging open at the end of the pilot didn't hurt, either. Basically, it's about the aftermath of what happens when every human in the entire world, one day, "blacks out" for exactly two minutes and seventeen seconds. Around the world, people just DROP, and during those 137 second planes fall from the sky, people die on operating tables, and surfers end up bodies washing up on the beach. Creepy as hell. But when everyone comes to again, what's really learned is that these weren't black outs at all - that in fact, during the time everyone was out, he or she actually had a little mini-vision of the future; a "flash forward" if you will to whatever is going on in their lives in about six months' time. It's a great premise, and one heck of a suspenseful, intriguing series; I just hope the writers can pull off what they've so beautifully set up - the reason behind all that's going on is going to really have to live up to expectations for the show to succeed, but so far yeah it has me blasted out of the water already. Plus it has John Cho, who I've been in love with for a number of years now. But yeah, this is a keeper; I already want the first season on DVD, and they've only aired the pilot.

And then there's the other miss-it-and-you're-a-fool best series on TV, "Glee" - a show which, I swear, would have had Sylvia Plath laughig. Set at a high school in western Ohio, "Glee" chronicles the life of teacher Will Shuester (Matthew Morrison), a guy who has aspirations of being an entertainer when he was in high school; dreams that never happened, but he's determined will happen for the kids in his school who have the same goal. He assembles a rather motley crew of singers to keep the school's glee club alive - the school geeks, mostly - and works hard to find ways to recruit more kids to the ensemble so that he can fulfill a deal he made with the school's principal (the very funny Iqbal Theba) that glee club will place at regionals if it's to remain in the school. Fighting him all the way is the insane and way-too-politically-incorrect gym and cheerleading coach, Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch, who gets only more hilarious with each episode) ... as well as nearly the entire student body, who thinks glee club is for losers. Each episode has lots of laughs, even more heart, and some really groovy tunes you'll be hooked on FAST. It's the first big hit of the new shows, and deservedly so; it's one of the best things on TV in years.

"Cougar Town" is pretty cool, too; for the first ten minutes of the pilot I sat there with a "WTF" look on my face, but the writing and Courteney Cox both soon found their footing, and the show ended up being kind of a cool skewering of what dating is like these days for a woman over forty. Nice start, and the characters are growing on me; I thought "Aliens in America" (another CW casualty) got a bum rap, being cancelled after such an early start, so am glad Dan Byrd has popped up here again, playing Courteney Cox's son.

"The Vampire Diaries" has kind of grown on me, too. I read the books about an eon ago, and was curious about the casting on the show - Paul Wesley, Nina Dobrev, and Ian Somerhalder as the vampire-human-vampire triangle - but the writing has pulled off the dynamics of the two vampire brothers' relationship (with the human girl stuck between them) pretty well. Somerhalder is evil as they come with Damon, Wesley providing the right blend of sensuality and angst as Stefan. This is supposedly the CW's "big hit" of the new shows, so far, probably largely due to the success of Twilight - but it's still worth catching.

Wow, for a guy who never watches much TV outside reruns of favorite shows, or DVDs, it's weird for me to even know this much about the new fall shows. Nice to see some originality on TV this time around, though - now if only crap like "Dancing with the Stars" and 90% of all other reality shows could get yanked ... ahh, that would be heaven.

Latest autographs: Actually some HUGE surprises and big names in the mail lately, with thanks to a couple of friends who helped. Columbus Short, "American Idol" winner Kris Allen, Jude Law, Daniel Craig, and Jack Black - all ones I've really been wanting, a few of which I never expected to get, and a couple of which really blew me away. Thanks to Larry and Kevin for their help in procuring a few of these, and man I hope this trend of big names coming back to me in the mail continues ... at least, until I am in a position again to get some in person on my own!

It's cool outside as I write this. Gray and moody outside, with fall having definitely settled in. I've only been back in the Midwest a short time, after leaving Phoenix, and am already having a little trouble adjusting to the humidity again; winter should be fun, for sure, if I do remain here. I'm close - at least geographically - to a family I've had my share of issues with, and while initially I thought getting back to knowing them was a good thing ... now I am not so sure. I think it's "okay" so far, but I learned long ago that my friends are my family - and I'm not sure I can go back again. Not sure I want to.

Isn't it something, sometimes, to watch what people do - compared to what they say? I believe that, with all my heart and soul, and continue to find it one of life's great truths: NEVER listen to what people say, watch what they do; THAT will be the true indicator of how they feel. People who say they don't have the time to call, or hang out with you, or whatever - that's bullshit. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, choosing how to spend it - and whether it's working out or eating lunch or calling their significant other or having sex or visiting grandma, each and every person makes the time for (get this) what they want to do. Someone telling you "Babe, you know I love you - I just don't always have the time to call, or even see you ; I'm sorry, babe, for real" is full of it; if they wanted to talk to you, or see you, they'd MAKE the time, and you need to pluck that turkey fast if he/she is doing otherwise.

So remember - Universal Truth #1: Never listen to what people say, for a true indicator of how they feel; watch what they do. And Universal Truth #2: People make time for what's important to them. Period.

Remember these two basic truths of people, and you'll save yourself a lot of heartache.

Okay, I've bored you enough - welcome to the Crazy House, and may you always make lemonade when life hands you lemons. Personally, I prefer grape Kool-Aid.

Future Baby-Daddies of the Day (GILFs - Guys I'd Like to ... well, you know): Mark Salling, Taylor Lautner (the NANO-second he turns eighteen), Corbin Bleu, and Gael Garcia Bernal.

BlacknBlueSharpies

The Beautiful (and Not-So-Beautiful) Life: from Jurrasic Park to Kool-Aid